


Drunk as an Ed

by NintendoGal55



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Drunken Flirting, Drunkenness, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:47:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21783937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NintendoGal55/pseuds/NintendoGal55
Summary: When Edd is a little bit too drunk, Eddy agrees to have him come over and hang out. However, things take a very, very emotional turn as the evening goes on. It's not easy being drunk with your judgement impaired and lacking inhibitions!
Relationships: Edd "Double D"/Eddy
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! This silly little fic was inspired by an idea a friend of mine once had, where Edd drunkenly confesses his feelings for Eddy. Fun times, eh? I decided to play with that concept a little bit! So I hope you guys enjoy this little journey!

Eddy just stared at his phone incredulously, trying not to laugh. It wasn’t often that Edd drunk-texted you, or got drunk at all, unless it was the three of them together. There it was, the rambling texts and typos clearly made by autocrrect. Edd was right about one thing, though. He _did_ have questions.

- _ **Eddy, I will not beat around the bush. I’m quiet inebriated at this moment. Very much so. I had struck to much more light, fruity drinks tonight, I might add. They were so very delicious!!! I swear they are made with the intent to get you to buy more as you do not feel the effects nearly as easily. Did you know that? I’m sure that you did, considering that you have quite the expertise on this sort of topic.**_

 _**Oh sorry, there I go rambling! My apologies. You must have so many questions. I can already see the look on your face. Aw, you must be rising an eyebrow and wondering what in the world am I doing? How did this happy? It really is too bad I didn’t decide to FaceTime you, then I could experience your countdown! :)** _- _ **What happened? Thought you were studying with the other nerds**_

_**-Very funny, I will ignore that comment. Other nerds, really! Yes Eddy, I am a nerd. My sticky group consists of nerds. Very funny! Joke of the century! Can’t you come up with something better than that? No, of course not, because it isn’t the low-hanging fruit! ‘Hahahaha look at me I’m Eddy you said nuts and that’s funny cause it means BALLS! Get it BALLS! Dicks and balls are FUNNY curve their BALLS!’** _

_**Anyway, now that I am done mocking, I can explain. Where was I? Oh dear, I’m surprised that the words aren’t blurred. OH GOODNESS! The autocorrect typos!! I only just noticed them now! Oh dear, why, autocorrect?! Why?! Oh Eddy, you know far well that I would NEVER let such heinous mistakes and grammatical errors go through in my texts! Most especially “their” rather than “they’re”! Insulting!** _

_**I am going to ensure that I delete these texts in the morning! But I would be remiss for the last joke you sent me before we had this current conversation was so delightful! :(** _

  
_**Oh dear, I’m rambling once again! Where in the world was I?** _

  
  


_**-You were gonna tell me how you got drunk, dur** _

  
  


_**-Right of course! :D Oh look, just like Ed would do with the smiling faces! It’s rather endearing! What was I saying? Goodness me, I will lose my own head if I keep this up!** _

  
_**Well, after our study session, since we were well ahead of schedule in terms of homework and studying, the fellows suggested we go out to a bar for a little while, as it is Friday night.** _

  
_**I thought, all right, perhaps I’ll have just a drink or two. Well, that turned into quite a few! I can’t recall how much! It’s a wonder I’m still standing and able to text this to you! Actually, I am not even standing, I’m sitting! But I had been standing just tome minutes ago and I was able to coordinate myself! But I had one too many drinks and I’m quite inebriated. :(** _

  
_**I’m only grateful that the world isn’t spinning and that I am still coherent! Why must this sort of thing be quincy to the college experience, I ask you?** _

  
_**-LMAO! So you nerds went and got hammered! You always do this Sockhead, just get all the tasty stuff and have too much of it! Cause you don’t like beer** _

  
  


_**-Oh of course, how foolish of me. WAIT! Quincy?! Who the hell is Quincy?! Why am I swearing?! Goodness I meant to say QUINTESSENTIAL!!! I am writing that in upper case so as to remind myself! Curse you, autocorrect! You are not helping in the slightest! Oh if this keeps up I’m going to eat my hat! After I ensure to replace it! Then I will eat it!** _

  
  


_**-I better be there to see it when you do lol** _

  
  


_**-This is so embarrassing! I can’t believe I’m doing this! I need to send for an Uber, the other fellows are too drunk to drive and don’t want to leave just yet. I for one have had enough and would like to depart! That tavern they selected was far too much and smelled of substances I cannot discord! I’m thankful I only used a urinal, but I didn’t dare touch it! But I did ensure that I washed my hands thoroughly afterwards! Disgusting!** _

  
  


_**-How’d you even flush it? Some of those have flushers you know** _

  
  


_**-I took a paper towel and used that, of course! What in the world do you even take me for, monsieur?** _

  
  


_**-lmao you don’t want me to answer that ;)** _

  
  


_**-Har har hardy har har. Am I to assume that your response would be crude? Silly? Very much a definition of character? Never you mind!** _

  
_**Eddy, may I come by? I’m surrounded by rather unbecoming men. If I recall correctly, Ed and May are out on a date tonight? You don’t have plans at the moment, do you? I don’t wish to be a bother but I’m so lonely. I would very much like your company. Please?** _

  
_**I’m so lonely. Did I already say that? It seems that I did, my apologies.** _

  
  


_**-Okay okay, Mr. Lonely! Relax, you can come by, I ain’t busy** _

  
  


_**-Oh thank you!!! :) I vastly appreciate it! Thank you! Wonderful, I had been hesitant on the attention destination for the Uber so I had wanted to wait until I’d asked for your consent before inputting the information! Splendid, I’ll send for it immediately and I will let you know of the GTA!!** _

_**I’m sure we’ll have some fun tonight, yes? Even if all we end up doing is watching some television and conversing! Oh do we have things to talk about! I’m sure you have plenty of things to say, as per usual?Oh dear, I see more typos! GTA? I don’t even play Grand Theft Auto! Although I would love to visit the Greater Toronto Area! What a lively and bustling city Toronto is! Regardless!! Anyway, the Uber should be arriving soon, I’ll see you later! Oh dear, those horrid autocorrect replacements! WHY do you do this to me, autocorrect! I’m very cross indeed! Were I able to edit individual texts, I would do so!** _

Eddy still wasn’t sure how this happened, but it was in motion before he could think too hard about it. Oh well, he hadn’t seen Edd in a week, so it was going to be nice to visit with him. Not to mention, it was going to be funny to see him drunk!

He got up and walked to the fridge, checking if they had any alcohol available. To his dismay, there was only one can of beer left and two bottles of malt liquor Edd had left there. Not enough. Eddy groaned and shut the fridge. He would’ve gone for a beer run, but hadn’t thought of it. Would he even have time?

A text message came from Edd with an ETA of ten minutes. The corner store was only four blocks away and he could be back by then, right? Eddy swallowed hard, his eyes darting back and forth between his keys and phone. A second or so passed before his feet, as if on their own accord, headed right for the door.

He’d probably be able to make it if he ran!

\-----

Eddy made it.

Just barely, as it seemed. Not two minutes after he came home and was putting the six pack away came Edd’s next text. This time it was to announce that he’d arrived and because one of the other tenants happened to be leaving and let him go inside, there was no need to buzz him in. Apparently the tenant recognized him, according to Edd. Made sense, he’d visited the apartment so many times by now.

Right as he went to grab a bag of chips, there was a knock at the door. Eddy crossed over to the door and peered in through the peephole. Sure enough, Edd’s face filled the fish-eye lens, giving him a huge face and a tiny hat. It was so cute. Eddy chuckled and opened the door, grinning at his friend.

“Helloooooo there.” Edd cooed, giggling.

“Cute.” Eddy snickered. “Ya know, it was unlocked. You can just come in.”

“Even inebriated, I believe in being polite, thank you very much.” Edd responded sarcastically. He was swaying ever slightly, but regained himself. He stepped into the apartment, sighing with relief as he set his messenger bag down onto the floor. “Just be relieved that I didn’t knock three times, say your name, and repeat the process twice more.”

So far so good, maybe. Edd’s words weren’t slurring, thankfully, but there was an upward inflection to them. Eddy couldn’t quite surmise how much Edd must have had, but definitely enough to impede his judgement at least by a stretch.

Making a face, Eddy shook his head, “I’d lock ya out if ya did that.”

“As you very well should,” Edd agreed. He then came forward and quickly wrapped his arms around Eddy’s frame in a hug.

Eddy stiffened. Okay, he was no stranger to Edd’s hugs, let alone uncomfortable by them, but it still took him by surprise. “Whoa, hey… what’s with the hug?”

“It has been a long, tiring, lonely week, and I would like a hug. I understand Ed isn’t around, but if he were, I suppose I would ensure he’d shower first. And you’re very soft.” Edd replied, nuzzling his head into Eddy’s shoulder. “Oh… my apologies, I should’ve asked first.”

“Eh, s’no big deal.” Eddy shut the door with one hand. Once he was situated, he patted Edd’s back a little. If nothing else, he always did enjoy Edd’s hugs. Even if he had a tendency to linger sometimes.

“Mmmm,” Edd hummed in contentment and lay his chin into Eddy’s shoulder. “You smell so nice. Did you shower?”

“Yeah, earlier when I got home.” Eddy shrugged.

“I do love how diligent you are about being clean.” Edd remarked with a giggle.

Swallowing, Eddy stammered, “Well, uh… yeah, ya know…” 

He expected Edd to pull back, but he didn’t. Instead, Edd just pressed a little closer, bringing his hands up Eddy’s back and then clutching at his shirt. Little happy sighs escaped him and he didn’t say anything. Their bodies were now flush together with no breathable space in between. Eddy trembled slightly, now unsure of what to do. Were it not for Edd’s height, his body would have swallowed him they were that close.

Much of his mind was yelling to stop this, to not give in, anything to stop certain _feelings_. But his feet were planted to the floor and hands refused to budge even a bit. Fuck, this was _not_ helping! Even trying to get his thoughts back in order was just as futile.

Edd’s cheek came into close contact with his own, the fabric of his hat nudging into his neck. Eddy felt his own cheeks grow hot and his heart race a little. His fingers tensed slightly against his friend’s jacket, digging into the material. 

It felt too good. _Edd_ felt too good. Many questions buzzed in his mind, but before he could mull them further, Edd spoke.

“My apologies,” Edd pulled back a little, but remained close. His head rose and came up to meet Eddy’s gaze. Their noses were barely touching. “I was just simply in need of some intimate physical contact. I do hope you understand.”

“Uh,” Eddy blinked once and inwardly kicked himself back into gear. He finally managed to pull back, keeping his friend at arm’s length. “Shoulda known, you were always clingy as hell! And they say chicks are the clingy ones?”

“I am _not_ clingy, thank you very much.” Edd stated haughtily, but came closer to him once again.

Gulping, Eddy took another step back. “What say we sit down, bet you wanna take a load off!”

A tiny pout formed at Edd’s lips for a reason Eddy couldn’t even try to discern, but he otherwise obliged. After a confirmed answer of yes for a snack, Eddy retrieved a can of beer and a bag of nachos. Edd’s eyes followed the bag hungrily while Eddy sat down on the couch next to him.

“You guys didn’t eat anything?” Eddy asked incredulously as he handed the bag to Edd.

“The bar did have wings, but I wasn’t in the mood, admittedly.” Edd replied as he carefully opened the bag. “So I instead had some pretzels and peanuts. Very tasty, but not at all satiating! But it seemed that nothing was going as planned this evening, which I must say was quite fretting! So I haven’t a clue as to what I’ll do now. I don’t wish to impose on you for anything to-”

Eddy rolled his eyes and held his hand up, “Relax, Sockhead! It ain’t like it’s the first time we’ve done shit like this, anyway. You’re lucky, Ed didn’t eat up everything we’ve got.”

“You’re right,” Edd looked a bit sheepish while he munched on a nacho. “Well, it would be nice if we could have a nice meal. What might you have?”

“Leftover quesadillas, leftover sauce so we can have spaghetti, uh… think we still got burgers, stuff to make pizza, or if ya wanna get crazy, I can make my good ol’ famous omelette.” Eddy shrugged, counting off his fingers.

“Aww… how dare you? All of those things sound delicious. You know how much I enjoy your cooking!” Edd pouted. “Well, I think some spaghetti with your sauce would be lovely.”

“Kay, I’ll make it in a bit,” Eddy popped open his can and took a sip. He sighed happily, “Ah yeah, nothin’ like a good beer after all that runnin’.”

“You were out running?” Edd asked, eating another chip. He looked at the bag, then facepalmed. “Good lord, since when does being inebriated make me forgetful?! My apologies, hold on a moment. I didn’t spill any crumbs, did I? No… Oh, good! It seems I had the sense to eat _over_ the bag! Thank heavens. Just a moment Eddy, I’d better get a bowl.”

After Edd retrieved a bowl and poured some nachos in, he placed it onto the coffee table and returned to his spot. A little bit closer to Eddy this time, since their knees touched.

“So then, how are things with you?” Edd asked as he took a nacho and bit into it, his eyes locked on Eddy the whole time.

“Same old shit,” Eddy shrugged a little, but then grinned as a memory came back to him. “Got a cute girl’s phone number at the auto shop the other day, though. I was thinkin’ of shooting her a text and see if she’d be down to meet for a drink, if ya catch my drift.”

At that, Edd looked crestfallen and pouty. He reached for another nacho chip, averting his gaze. “Oh… I see. I’ll be willing to bet she was lovely, wasn’t she. All petite and very thin, with long soft hair, probably blonde… Her eyes shining like diamonds, captivating and full of life… A melodious voice created to enchant men…” 

“Uh, you okay there?”

“Quite a bit of makeup, I’m sure… A lovely body with generous, voluptuous curves, even! Why I bet she must be so gorgeous that you would swear you saw her on the cover of a trashy women’s magazine!”

Eddy stared at his friend in utter disbelief, but then heard crunching. Really loud crunching. When he looked down toward the source, his eyes widened upon seeing that Edd was _crushing_ a nacho in his hand! Acting fast, he brought the bowl by Edd’s hand so that the broken pieces would fall into it.

“Jeez Double D, what’s with you?! You’re killin’ that nacho!”

For a moment, Edd didn’t respond, but then seemed to register. He glanced down, then back at Eddy, blinked once or twice, then looked down again. Biting his lip, shame riddled his countenance as he let the broken pieces fall into the bowl.

“Oh goodness, I haven’t a clue what came over me!” Edd uttered, clutching at his hat and looking as if he’d just been woken up. “My sincerest apologies, Eddy. I nearly made a mess of your floor!”

“Not that, I mean what the hell was up with that weird ass monologue?” Eddy asked incredulously.

“Oh, oh it was nothing! Nothing at all, I simply got carried away. Especially based on your history of previous partners,” Edd admitted, not meeting his gaze.

Rolling his eyes, Eddy pinched the bridge of his nose. “What do you care, anyway? S’not like you got issues getting a hot chick’s number.”

“Do you presume I _like that_?!” Edd suddenly shouted, looking huffy. “What in the world do these ladies find so appealing about me?! Apparently, they perceive my _physical appearance_ as worthy and all they need! That is truly what it comes down to! They don’t care one single bit about my accomplishments, my goals, or anything of that sort! I’ve driven away many potential partners the very second they tried getting to know me! They’re so shallow and believe that because they find me attractive, I must be the perfect one for them! Then grow disappointed when I don’t their expectations! Whether it’s because I’m a nerd, or because I don’t follow celebrity gossip, or because I’m not the likes of Casanova! All of a sudden, it’s as though I betrayed them!”

“Ohhh yeah, must be soooo hard having hot chicks drool over ya without even tryin’.” Eddy muttered bitterly, shaking his head. “What a nightmare to pick any hot piece of ass you want and not hafta say a damn word!”

“As _if_!” Edd yelped uncharacteristically. He leaned back a bit on the couch, exhaling. “Even the fellows in my study group say that they envy me. Why, I remember that one time this one overzealous girl had come on to me _far_ too strongly, while I wasn’t the least bit interested, and I grew so uncomfortable! She would not let up! When I later shared this story with one of the fellows in the group, he said ‘Wow, you’re so lucky, Edd! Where was I when that happened? Sure wish a girl came onto me like that!’ Oh for crying out loud! Perhaps I should let my facial hair grow out, put on much shaggier clothing, stop showering, and perhaps that will deter them!”

“One, I agree with that guy. Lucky!” Eddy muttered, rolling his eyes and taking another sip of beer. “Second, why didn’t ya just tell that crazy chick you weren’t interested? I kinda remember you growin’ a backbone since were kids.”

Edd stared at the beer can in his hand with distaste, yet longing. Eddy noticed, then gestured to the kitchen. Wordlessly, Edd stood up and went to retrieve a drink from the fridge. He came back with a bottle of malt liquor, unscrewed the cap, and took a hearty sip. Once swallowed, he exhaled and leaned back again, staring upward. 

“I _did_ tell her I wasn’t interested, Eddy. I made it clear, without being rude, that I simply wasn’t interested. You would assume that doing such a thing would get a pursuer to relent! To realize that they are wasting their time! To realize that their attempted advances are one-sided and not wanted! I’m not sure what her issue was, but she was having none of it. She seemed to take it as a challenge! A challenge, I tell you! Oh dear, am I… am I rambling again? Where was I going with this? Oh! Oh, right. You know what I had to do? Do you? Well, here is what I had to do!” Edd took another sip of his drink, slapped the bottle onto the table, and turned his head to look at Eddy. A strange expression crossed his face, his mouth stretching a little. “I told her that I was _gay_.”

Taking that in, Eddy started to laugh and slapped his knee. Luckily he wasn’t drinking at the moment, so he set the can down as well. “Holy shit Double D, you had to play THAT card?! Yeesh, she musta been desperate.”

“Don’t remind me,” Edd groaned, throwing an arm over his eyes as he fell back against the couch again. 

“Did it work?” Eddy asked, reaching over and patting Edd’s leg.

For a moment Edd didn’t respond, just grunted. He sighed, letting his arm fall, “It did. But she got upset with me and demanded to know why I didn’t just tell her that in the first place, why did I lead her on, yadda yadda yadda.”

Snickering, Eddy’s grin grew wider, “Did you seriously just say ‘yadda yadda yadda’?”

“Be quiet. You know what I meant.” Edd mumbled, pouting a little. He turned his head to look at Eddy again, meeting his eyes. “It was bizarre and rather unsettling, that I had to resort to telling someone about such a thing. I felt such immense guilt that I couldn’t tell anyone a lie! I’m quite sure it will come back to haunt me! Oh Eddy, why did I have to double down in such a way? I should have continued to stand my ground! I shouldn’t have used such a desperate resort to ward off an unwanted pursuer! It has already been harrowing enough to come to terms with being bisexual! Oh, I ask you, why didn’t she just leave me alone? Why do some people have to be _so_ persistent? Are they so self-involved that they truly don’t take no for an answer?!”

Eddy shrugged as he reached for his beer can. “Kay, so she was one of those crazy people who think ‘No’ means ‘Convince me’, you can’t reason with ‘em. Don’t let it get to ya, you had to play the ‘I’m gay’ card to get outta there. Relax, okay? It’s not like you-”

It was then that he paused as a certain factor registered to him. He snapped his gaze back to Edd, his hand letting go of the beer can. Thankfully, it only tipped slightly before righting itself.

“Wait a sec, what was that thing you just said?”

Edd frowned in confusion. He considered for a few moments, bit his lip, squinted, and then seemed to resign. “Why do some people have to be so persistent?”

“No, before that!” Eddy prompted.

“Why didn’t she just leave me alone?”

“Before that!”

“I shouldn’t have said I was gay?”

“After that!”

Edd frowned again, then lit up in realization. “Oh! About my coming to terms with being bi- _oh_ ….” The colour drained from his face and he sank further into the couch, trembling.

“Yeah, that!” Eddy said, turning toward him now. “You’re bi? Seriously?”

Burying his face in his hands, Edd didn’t respond. He just groaned, his fingers clawing up his face and then pulling his hat down over his eyes. Eddy watched him scantly, noting his reddened cheeks, trembling shoulders, and quickened breaths. There wasn’t even a need for Edd to respond. A silence fell between them, except for the sound of the rain pattering on the window. 

Eddy looked away, feeling his own cheeks growing warm as he tried to seek out some kind of distraction. This was too much to take in. Much as he tried to suppress _those_ thoughts, there was no stopping them by now. Oh great, no doubt _those_ dreams would start up again. No no, he couldn’t think all that! No! Why did Edd have to say that? Why did _those_ thoughts now have somewhere to latch onto? It didn’t mean anything! No way! Not then, not now! 

Closing his eyes, Eddy took a steadying breath and relaxed his shoulders. If anyone was going to get past that statement, he had to be the one to do so. Sure, a few jokes were rising up, but somehow Eddy just couldn’t bring himself to say them. Maybe later. When they were both stone-cold sober and past this.

“Well uh… wow, you sure hid it pretty well!” Eddy remarked with a shrug. “Here I thought you were straight as an arrow, Sockhead.”

Edd peeked at him, then sighed and let his hands fall to his lap. He glanced at his drink, swiped it off the table, and downed a generous sip. He set the bottle back down and sighed heavily. “Well… I suppose that was partly due to only dating women.”

“Don’t worry about it, it ain’t a big-” Eddy began.

“For so long I had repressed the notion, believing that it was merely curiosity and nothing more!” Edd exclaimed, cutting him off. He sighed and shook his head. “Oh yes, we can all become curious at times! Why, I remember one of my last girlfriends said that she experimented making out with other girls and she’s still straight! I knew it was possible to be curious but straight! But of course I knew bisexuality existed, no doubt! I just didn’t think that it would apply to me!”

“Like I was _trying_ to say,” Eddy said loudly, rolling his eyes. “S’fine, it ain’t a big deal so-”

“It took me quite some time to truly come to terms with it!” Edd went on as though Eddy hadn’t even spoken. “But I had spoken about it at length with my therapist… oh, about two years ago, now. She’d said she has dealt with many people, of all ages, that had trouble understanding their sexuality! I knew sometime after our sessions that I was bisexual. I like men and women! There, I finally said it!”

“Congrats, you’re outta the closet.” Eddy said dryly, giving a slow clap. “Yaaaaay.”

“My word, curb your enthusiasm and settle down,” Edd replied just as dryly. He finished his drink and set the bottle down.

Eddy finished his beer and tossed the can onto the coffee table, which earned a reproachful look from Edd. Getting up, he stretched and headed to the kitchen. “Guess I’ll go and make some grub.”

“Oh, I’ll come help you!” Edd offered as he picked up the can, following him to the kitchen to rinse it in the sink.

“Nah, I’m good.” Eddy waved him off. “You go… I dunno, watch TV or somethin’.”

“No! I insist on assisting you in the kitchen. After all, I’m going to be helping with such matters once I eventually move in!” Edd insisted, then looked around. He paused, wide-eyed, “What… was I doing again?”

“Can.” Eddy said, going to the fridge and taking out a tupperware container of sauce.

“Right! Yes…” Edd sought out the recycling bin and placed the can inside. “I might be drunk, but might I reassure you that I am in fact a high-functioning kind? I am not even slurring my words and I can walk! I’m not too certain about running, but I highly doubt that I’m going to be doing so anytime soon!”

At this rate, it was no use arguing. Eddy just went to work on preparing the pasta, with Edd assisting him wherever possible. Neither of them spoke unless it was necessary, but the silence wasn’t exactly uncomfortable. That was a good thing, right?

The revelation was still running rampant in Eddy’s mind. Of _course_ it wasn’t a big deal, Edd’s sexuality was what it was. It was just an incredibly surprising revelation, to say the least. He’d only dated women and hadn’t said a thing about attraction toward men. Were there any subtle hints he hadn’t even realized? Probably not, but he couldn’t remember. Anytime Edd stated a man’s attractiveness, it was always in a matter-of-factly way. He couldn’t have had any secret relationships with other men. There was no way Edd could have hid that sort of thing for long. While Eddy could admit that he himself and Ed might not have caught on right away, they would have found out eventually. That or Edd would have eventually told them.

This didn’t mean a thing. It didn’t, he told himself. No way. Even if Edd were flat out _gay_ , it still wouldn’t mean a thing. Eddy closed his eyes for a second, trying to remind himself of this fact. Just because Edd also happened to like men didn’t mean he was one of them. And why would he? Edd could have any good man he wanted. There was no sense wasting his time thinking of this possibility; even if there was the tiniest shred of a chance. 

Great. Why did he have to be bisexual? At least the presumption of Edd being straight didn’t leave room for ambiguity! It was stable. While it was disappointing in principle, at least it was a certainty. Now there was ambiguity. There was a tiny chance. One so slim and difficult to reach, but still _there_. Like a jawbreaker being dangled in his face just out of reach. 

Why did some force out there hate him so much? Some force of fate decided to be cruel and tease him with the only person he ever wanted. Eddy sucked in a breath and opened his eyes after what felt like an eternity. But in reality, it had only been a few seconds or so.

Oh well. He could work with this. Nothing had to change just because Edd admitted to his bisexuality. No way, nothing was going to change. He just had to ignore it and pretend it didn’t exist. At least not beyond a simple fact.


	2. Confession

They finally finished eating and drinking some more (beer for Eddy, malt liquor for Edd), to which Edd of course gathered up their dishes and went to wash them in the sink. Even though the apartment had a dishwasher. No matter how many times Eddy coaxed him, Edd refused. He wanted to clean them by hand, not because he didn’t trust dishwashers (he did trust them), just that it felt therapeutic to be washing them.

So Eddy stood off to the side, leaning against the counter, occasionally watching Edd as he washed up the pot and pan. Things were quiet between them

“Eddy?” Edd suddenly spoke up, breaking the silence. 

Snapped out of his reverie, Eddy blinked and looked at him. “Uh, yeah?”

“I wanted to apologise, for what I had said and suddenly admitting to my sexuality.” Edd said demurely. He sighed, wiped his mouth with a napkin, and crumpled it up in his hand. “I can’t believe I even said it! Not that I wish to keep secrets, oh no! I just hadn’t found the right time or place to talk about it! It’s even partly due to the ideal that I simply don’t have to bring it up until I may decide to date a man! But on the other hand, you and Ed are my dearest friends and if there is anyone I would tell, it would be the two of you! Oh, I didn’t want it to be like this!”

Oh, great. He just _had_ to bring it up. Eddy sighed and looked upward, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Relax Double D, it ain’t a big deal!” Eddy admonished, rolling his eyes. “I ain’t gonna accuse you of lying or whatever.”

“I know, but I feel that it could have gone so much better! That I could have planned for it! Oh, why did this have to happen while I was drunk? Drunk! Unbelievable! What better time to talk about such an intimate detail!” Edd complained, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have said it.”

“Why not? Ya didn’t do anything, for cryin’ out loud!” Eddy groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Look Sockhead, remember when I dated Liv in high school? She’s bi.”

“Oh… Oh, _her_ .” Edd muttered, now scrubbing at the pan quite roughly. “Of course, who could forget Olivia with her long flowing hair, flawless skin. Her Irish accent. Her singing voice… ‘Oooh look at me, I performed _Let It Go_ and hit every note’!”

Letting out a groan, Eddy just rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “For fuck’s sake, Sockhead! Why do you have to get so damn salty about my exes?”

Rolling his eyes, Edd went back to washing the pan. “I do _not_ get ‘salty’, as you put it. I just merely never understood what you saw in either of them, apart from how attractive they are. Pardon me if I could not get along with either of them, but they truly don’t possess the best of qualities! Olivia at the very least had a stronger head upon her shoulders, but did you never notice how her outgoing demeanour seemed quite overdone? Goodness, no one needs to smile _that_ much! Not to mention her lipstick was always smudging on you! And you _still_ see her every now and again to ‘hook up’, as you put it.”

“ _She_ suggested that, not me! She came onto me first!” Eddy protested, groaning. “Never fucking mind, would ya?”

Edd sighed, looking back down at the dishes and continuing to wash them. He relaxed a bit, his expression pensive. “You’re… you’re right, I’m sorry. I just simply couldn’t stand them, and Olivia got under my skin without her intending to do so. Oh dear I had too much, didn’t I?” He kept scrubbing and rinsed the pan. “She certainly was attracted to you, wasn’t she? Mmm… I can’t blame her one bit for that.” Edd suddenly said, breaking the silence.

Eddy glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. He would’ve responded with his usual bravado, but there was something about Edd’s demeanour and tone that gave him pause.

“I mean… You do have very captivating eyes, for one. They’re such a striking shade of blue, wouldn’t you say?” Edd murmured softly. He finished the dishes and removed the yellow gloves. “She must have liked that… Not to mention the confident and outgoing manner in which you carry yourself. You style your hair in ways that suit you, though sometimes there have been mishaps. Right now it’s quite all right, though it truly doesn’t matter so long as it’s well maintained.”

“Well uh, ya know, course I gotta take care of the hair!” Eddy replied, managing to laugh this off. “That and chicks love clean hair, what can I say?”

Edd was looking him over up and down and then smiled. “I certainly can’t forget your laugh, it’s quite infectious. It’s wonderful to hear your genuine laugh, I must say. Then of course it usually is followed by your charming, crooked smile. It’s rather radiant and striking. Oh, I can never get enough of it!”

Oh God. Eddy felt his cheeks burning up considerably. Edd was of course always one to offer compliments, like whenever he got a new haircut or showed off a neat outfit. But there was something in Edd’s tone and his choice of words that just felt so strange. Not in a bad way, but not something he was used to. Not from Edd, anyway.

Receiving such compliments from him caused such a myriad of feelings he couldn’t ignore. He felt a shiver run up his spine and so he closed his eyes for a few seconds.

“Uh, thanks?” Eddy said lamely. “What’s uh, goin’ on with that? Not that I’m complainin’, I just wanna know what’s up.”

“Mm? Am I making you uncomfortable? I’m merely being honest, Eddy.” Edd said, looking concerned.

Shaking his head, Eddy brushed back some of his hair and regained himself. “Nah, like I said, I ain’t complaining! Just kinda confused.”

“Oh, I see…” Edd nodded, leaning back and wringing his fingers. “I do apologise, nonetheless. I suppose I had come off strongly.”

Waving it off, Eddy just grinned. “S’okay, I’m cool with you goin’ on and on about how hot I am!”

“You’re so silly.” Edd smiled, then went to open the fridge and perused through it for a few moments. He deliberated, then pulled out one of the cans of beer and popped it open. While not a beer drinker, there were a couple of brands he didn’t mind. 

“C’mon, don’t ya start leaving me in suspense, Double D! What else you got?” Eddy prompted with a teasing smirk. He reached for his half empty can of beer and sipped from it.

Edd giggled uncontrollably, sipping his drink before responding. “That’s it, is it? You want to play to your ego? I should have expected such a thing. You have such a way of making me laugh. You and Ed both. Especially when I’m inebriated! ‘Oh please Double D, say nice things about me! I’d like it sooo much because it strokes my ego!’”

“Oh real funny, Mr. Comedian!” Eddy poked his side, snickering. “Don’t ya make me come over there!”

“Oh? And do what?” Edd looked at him with innocent, albeit slightly hazed eyes.

“Take ya down!”

“Ooh, is that a promise?”

“Well duh! Keep that up and I will!” Eddy stuck his tongue out petulantly and then took another sip of beer. 

“Will you pin me to the floor and hold me there?” Edd asked, his eyelids half-mast and tone flirty.

Eddy blinked, looking at him oddly. Where was this even coming from? “Uh…”

“Oh dear, have you gone speechless on me now?” Edd teased with a giggle. “That’s too bad, since you always seem to know what to say.”

Okay, he had to get a grip! He’d seen Edd drunk before, he knew Edd could get flirty at times while drunk, so what was so different now? Was it because they were alone? Did he really need Ed or any of their friends to be around to bounce off of? Was he himself being mostly sober hindering this? Probably. When was the last time this happened away? He couldn’t remember at all.

“Well, uh, course I do! Sometimes I just gotta, ya know, weigh the options.” Eddy said quickly, looking away.

“Weigh the options? Analysing the situation? Thinking before you speak? Overthinking it? Eddy, that’s _my_ job!” Edd pouted. “You’re supposed to be the loose cannon out of the two of us.”

“What, you never heard of role reversal?” Eddy teased. He looked back at his friend and sipped his beer again.

“Good point.” Edd giggled, smiling all over again. “You know Eddy, I’m very glad I decided to come see you. I do believe it was just what I needed. So thank you very much again, I vastly appreciate it.”

Eddy snorted and drank some more beer. Wait, when did Edd suddenly get closer to him? Not that he minded, but the distance between them along the counterpart was decidedly closer. He shrugged and waved it off, “No need to go on thankin’ me, Double D. I mean, you’re gonna move in soon anyway, so it ain’t like you’re breakin’ in.”

Edd opened his mouth to answer, then nodded, “Very true, you’re correct. But I also must admit, it’s quite nice that we have an opportunity to spend a little time together. While Ed being here would absolutely be all the more wonderful, I certainly appreciate one-on-one time, as well. In fact, I may very well stick by here until he comes home so that I may chat with him a few minutes before I depart. While I wouldn’t want to impose-”

“Relax, he’ll take ya to your dorm! Or I’ll take you, whichever.” Eddy shrugged. He gave Edd a sidelong glance and caught him indeed scooting closer. Not that he minded, they’d been closer before anyway.

“Splendid, thank you!” Edd beamed. He took another sip from his own can, then set it down on the counter beside him. 

The smile remained on his face and Eddy felt his insides melt quite a bit. There was always something so precious about Edd’s bright, toothy smiles combined with his captivating green eyes lighting up. 

After a few moments, the smile disappeared, Edd’s countenance becoming melancholy. “Eddy, I had wanted to say… It’s… great that you procured a phone number from a girl you’re interested. I certainly… hope it goes well. Oh yes, very well! So well! Mm-hmm!”

Eddy glanced at his friend, furrowing his brow. What was _with_ his tone? “Well thanks, but, what’s with you?”

“Nothing! Nothing is with me at all!” Edd squealed and then laughed. But sounded sheepish and forced. “Whatever do you mean?” He sipped more beer, his hand trembling a little. “Oh, Eddy, who the actual _fuck_ am I kidding?! I’m jealous!”

Taken aback, Eddy nearly dropped his can and his eyes went wide. Had he really heard Edd correctly? Judging by his friend’s flushed cheeks and nervous wringing of his fingers, Eddy had to surmise that he did.

“W-What?” Eddy asked as he finally found his voice. “What the hell-why are _you_ jealous?! You can have any damn girl you want and you’re _jealous_ that I get a girl’s number?!”

“Oh dear, I did NOT just swear again!” Edd moaned, bringing a hand over his eyes for a moment. “Why, oh why?!”

“Double D! You didn’t answer my question!” Eddy shouted, smacking his can onto the counter. “How the hell are ya jealous?!”

Edd, now clutching at his hat anxiously, finally looked at him. He huffed and took a few breaths, his hands shaking. “For goodness’ sake, I’m not jealous of _you_ , you maroon!”

“Then what the fuck are you jealous of?! And don’t call me that!” Eddy demanded.

“You just don’t get it, do you?!” Edd cried shrilly, pulling down his hat for a second and then letting it go. “I’m not jealous of you! I’m jealous of _her!_ Of them! The girls you’re with!”

Satisfied to finally get an answer, Eddy relaxed ever slightly, “There ya go! How hard was that? Now would ya just calm-”

The words struck his mind like a bolt of lightning. Feeling as if time froze all around them, Eddy stiffened and felt his hands grip the countertop behind him tightly. His mind could barely even process those words now that he could hear them on loop. It didn’t make sense. Or maybe it did make sense. But it didn’t make sense that those words made sense! Wait, when did he stop breathing? Was Edd talking? Was it this quiet? Or did time really freeze?

He dared look over at Edd, who was panting heavily and looked anxious as ever. Even his eyes were wide, as though he’d seen something horrifying. Eddy swallowed hard, his heart pounding, and his stomach coiling quite a bit.

“You uh… you okay?” Eddy managed to ask upon finding his voice.

Edd took a breath, clutched his chest, and stared straight ahead. Whether or not he was purposely avoiding eye contact wasn’t clear. “I… I’m all right… I… oh, dear… I cannot believe I just said that.”

“Well, uh…” Eddy averted his gaze, trying to laugh it off, but it came out forced. “Neither can I.”

“I-I know, I… oh, Eddy, I’m so sorry. I hadn’t intended to say that, much less in that manner.” Edd moaned, sighing a bit. “Oh, but I cannot possibly deny it!”

“Well hey, that’s the drink talkin’-” Eddy cut himself short as he looked back toward Edd. “Uh, what?”

“It’s true! I’m so jealous of them, it’s why I ended up behaving poorly toward them, and that is absolutely no excuse. While my stance does not chance upon the more vapid, ill-mannered and very uncaring girls you had been with, I suppose I could have been kinder. I especially should have been nicer to Olivia, as she did nothing egregiously wrong. With her, I was especially jealous, as she seemed like a good potential partner for you in some regards.” Edd confessed, looking straight ahead and nervously rubbing his arm. His fingers clenched after a few moments, making rumbles in the fabric of his shirt.

Was it possible for your brain to shut down even though you were still alive? 

“...What?” Was all Eddy could say.

“Anytime I wasn’t currently dating someone, I was lamenting over this! Just as I’m currently doing!” Edd exclaimed, as if he hadn’t heard him. “The truth is that I’ve tried so hard to repress these feelings! As the last thing I would ever want is to ruin our friendship! To make things awkward between you and I. Ed would then be unwittingly dragged into it as well! I don’t want to cause anything like that. The friendship between us three are far too precious for me to ostensibly ruin! I can’t allow such a thing to happen to all of us!”

“...What?”

“I’m sorry, I’m _so_ sorry! I especially don’t mean to burden you with these feelings as I know you're not attracted to men. Much less me.” Edd went on, looking ashamed. He sighed and stood up straight from the counter. “I’ve accepted that, I’ve done all I could to repress how I feel.”

Now he turned toward Eddy, standing in front of him. Although Eddy’s brain was _slowly_ coming back, it was still a shock to hear. His hands clenched and unclenched against the counter behind him. His stomach coiled uncomfortably and his heart pounded. Was this a dream? Was he really hearing these words? No, no way, he couldn’t be! There was no possible way this was happening!

Edd wasn’t attracted to him! Edd didn’t have feelings for him! No! It wasn’t like that! There had to be some kind of misunderstanding or loophole somewhere! There had to be! 

“I almost fear moving in with you two, as I’m sure these feelings are going to be exacerbated!” Edd lamented as he stepped closer, placing his hands on Eddy’s shoulders. “I’ll see you every day, be in such close contact with you like never before, and my room is next to yours! Goodness, while I pride myself in having control over my urges, it will surely take a toll on me sooner or later! Oh please, please forgive me!”

Swallowing hard, Eddy gripped the counter and felt as though his feet were planted to the floor. Although his legs felt like jello, it was a miracle he could stay standing up. Edd’s proximity was enough to send him into a tailspin, but his _words_ only made it worse. He trembled ever slightly, unable to do much else than stare up at his friend.

How were you supposed to deal with this? It seemed like a perfect scenario. You liked someone, that person liked you back. Simple, right? Oh, if only. What was he supposed to say? Being speechless from such an awkward situation _sucked_.

“Listen, uh, Double D, s’okay! It’s fine…” Eddy said lamely, gulping a little. 

“Please don’t try to spare my feelings.” Edd sighed, his hold on Eddy’s shoulders tightening slightly. “I feel at such a loss sometimes. I can barely even rationalize these feelings, yet they’re undeniable. If you were to ask when they started, I don’t know. Around high school is my best surmise. At times I dream of you, there are times I _fantasize_ of you and I together. As a couple. I can tell you that we would be good together and have a wonderful time! There are certainly many factors to it! We have also been best friends for so, so long, so we know each other incredibly well. Oh, but being out in public would be so difficult! How would we ever go on a proper date? Being in a same-sex relationship is quite difficult, even in this day and age! Then of course I know for certain that Mother and Father wouldn’t approve! Oh heavens no!”

“Lemme guess, they’re homophobic?” Eddy asked, rolling his eyes. At least he had something else to focus on, and disdain toward Edd’s parents was as good as anything. “Like they didn’t already suck enough.”

“Not… as such.” Edd said thoughtfully in spite of his drunken state. “They certainly don’t tell others what they can or can’t do with their lives in terms of sexuality. I can just tell you for certain that they would not want that of _me_. Goodness no! There’s no way we would even be able to tell them! Why, I haven’t even told them that I’m bisexual! Though if I am dating a woman, it simply wouldn’t need to be brought up. But if I were to date you, or another man, I would probably just have to tell them that I’m gay! After I’m married to the hypothetical man just for insurance!”

“Cause they’d see the bi thing as you being confused, like some kind of gateway to get you with a girl.” Eddy remarked dryly. 

His grip relaxed slightly on the counter and his body finally settled. At least they could focus on another element of this whole entire conversation that he _still_ couldn’t process. But his cheeks were still too warm. Eddy exhaled, averting his eyes slightly, trying to figure out how to get past this. If only Edd were drunker, maybe blackout drunk, at least then there was a possible chance he’d forget this whole conversation! But he didn’t have enough alcohol to make that happen.

“Precisely.” Edd nodded as he came closer, their bodies now flush together. “We would be at such a disadvantage in quite a few ways. I would never dream of putting you through that, even if you _did_ like men. No, I couldn’t possibly. This is why I’ve repressed these feelings, difficult as it may be most of the time. I don’t want to ruin our friendship and I do not want to subject you to all the difficulties to come with it. I can’t bear it! I love you too much.”

Eddy felt his cheeks heat up completely and his body went haywire all over again. Edd saying ‘I love you’ wasn’t foreign at all, but the context had been platonic. This time, however, it was not. Sweat was beginning to fall from his forehead and his stomach coiled, but not in an unpleasant way. Oh great, the _last_ thing he needed was to get a boner!

“I’ll certainly regret saying all of this, I’m sure. But I can’t stop and I’m sorry!” Edd pulled back a bit to meet his gaze. “But it’s the truth. I don’t expect you to feel the same way-and perhaps it’s better that way. We’ll always remain the best of friends. I might perhaps occasionally lament that we cannot be more, but I will move past it. I know I must! And I will, I promise I will not burden you with these confounded feelings!”

When did Eddy’s hands get onto Edd’s hips? How and when did his hands move on their own? Eddy shook his head a bit to clear his mind at least a little. Jeez, this whole situation was almost all kinds of awkward! Why couldn’t he just _say_ he felt the same way? Was it because Edd was drunk? Or was it due to his own stupidity? He had to guess it was both, but mostly the latter.

“Like I said! It’s fine!” Eddy managed to say, averting his gaze. His hands squeezed Edd a little, finding himself unable to let go. “We’re still gonna be pals!”

“I do hope so, I don’t want you to feel awkward.” Edd said with a slight nod. He reached up and touched Eddy’s cheek gently. 

For a split second, his instinct to move away when someone touched his face kicked in. Yet, Eddy couldn’t even find it in himself to move. Edd _sometimes_ touched his face and he didn’t usually mind it too much now. Other people still weren’t allowed to. Unless they were a hot girl, but even then he had limits. Right now, feeling Edd’s warm hand on his cheek was so _comforting_. He even subtly leaned his cheek into Edd’s hand, taking just a moment to savour the touch.

“Thank you Eddy. I truly can’t thank you enough for at least trying to ensure that we can move past this! You’re such a good friend. While you certainly have your flaws, test my patience and irritate me at times, to be certain…” Edd giggled for some reason, shaking his head. “You’re so much of what I desire in a partner. I apologize for professing my undying love, but I swear I won’t do that again. I just appreciate you hearing me out.”

Was Edd leaning closer? Was he-oh God he WAS! He was coming in for a kiss! There was no mistaking the aim and the fact that his eyes were right on Eddy’s lips. Oh God. Eddy trembled almost violently and felt at such a loss for what to do. His body was screaming at him to stay still and take it. Oh, he wanted it. He wanted it _bad_. There was nothing he wanted to do more than to give in. His mind raced, stomach coiled, heart pounded, and legs turned to jelly. It would be so easy, especially since Edd was making the move.

But he couldn’t. Edd was drunk. There was no way this could happen for many reasons! Eddy shook his head and managed to push Edd back a little, getting him at arm’s length. 

“Whoa hey, better not! You’re kinda drunk there, Sockhead!” Eddy stammered, trying to regain himself. He laughed nervously, squeezing Edd’s upper arms a little. “S’all good, it’s the alcohol talking! Don’t we all say crazy shit when we’re drunk? You don’t gotta worry about this stuff!”

“But Eddy, it’s true!” Edd protested, weakly trying to free himself. “Nothing I say while drunk is a lie! Just unfiltered, one might say! I-oh, oh dear, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry I tried to kiss you, goodness me! What kind of friend am I? The worst! The absolute _worst_ , I tell you! Why did I have to go and spill my heart like that?! Please forgive me Eddy, I’m not myself at all! I cannot believe I emboldened myself to do such a thing just because I happened to drink! Oh, great idea, Double D! Yep! Absolutely brilliant! Why don’t I write you a love letter while I’m at it? Oh, or how about I ascend to the rooftops and shout it for all to hear?! No, even better! I will alert the media! Soon all will now of my love for you! Doing all of that won’t be any more humiliating for me than I already feel at this very second!”

“Chill out, Double D!” Eddy half shouted. “Would ya calm down already? C’mon, you’re drunk and you ain’t thinking straight!”

“Which I’m not.” Edd quipped, giving a smile.

Eddy didn’t even try to hold back a chuckle. “Heh, good one. C’mon, just chill, will ya? Sit on the couch, we can watch somethin’ on Netlix and get our minds off this stuff. Besides, I bet you’re gonna have a headache comin’ on soon. Don’t worry, I got Advil if you need some.”

Edd took a few breaths, then nodded slowly as his body relaxed a little. “All right, Eddy. Thank you, I think that’s what I need to do. Will you please get me a glass of water? I don’t think I can possibly drink anymore. The last thing I need is for this to exacerb-...exce….oh, _fuck_ me, I’m beginning to lose my ability to form words! Words, Eddy! One of my absolute specialties!”

“I know I know, you don’t wanna make it worse.” Eddy waved it off and gently turned his friend around to face the doorway. “You go ‘head, I’ll be right there.”

“Of course.” Edd took a few careful steps forward, as if afraid he would stumble if he didn’t. After a few more careful steps, he finally left for the living room.

Letting out a breath, turned and clutched the countertop, staring at it intently. Whatever just happened, he still had no idea, but there was no denying it. His heart was still pounding and his mind raced. Running a hand along his hair, he lessened his heavy breathing as best he could. 

Looking to his can of beer, he reached for it, but then hesitated. No way. If _he_ got drunk, there was no telling what his stupid mouth would say. The last thing he needed was for a repeat, but in reverse. Shaking his head, he dumped the rest into the sink, not that there was much, anyway. Then he rinsed the can, knowing Edd would be on his case about it if he didn’t.

Okay, he could relax a bit, at least for now. He was regaining his composure and his mind wasn’t ready to burst. Eddy took another breath and went to fetch the water filter pitcher from the fridge. This was one Edd had built himself, but it almost looked like one of the higher-end ones you’d find. Along with being dishwasher safe, no less. Even though his body relaxed, of course his mind was _still_ on what had just transpired. What was he going to _do_? He had to keep fighting back these stupid feelings. Then again, that was always easier said than done. Wet dreams were something he couldn’t control, but he had to stop jerking off thinking of him! No more of that. Especially now that he had more fuel than ever. He had to stop entertaining those thoughts. 

Edd was right, unfortunately. A relationship between them would only cause issues, wouldn’t it? Didn’t trios always have issues when two of them dated? Of course he didn’t want for Ed to become the dreaded Third Wheel. No way! He didn’t want things to be awkward between the three of them anymore than Edd did. Ed being Ed would even be too sweet to say anything about it.

He sighed, clutching the countertop again and staring into the sink. Now his heart was all but melting as more thoughts filled his mind, much to his dismay. Try as he might to shake them off, there was no escaping them. Edd was right about one other thing. In spite of the troubles of being in a gay relationship and how their friendship dynamic would be affected, there was no denying it. They’d be good together. That is, if he himself weren’t an _idiot_ who didn’t deserve Edd.

That was just it. Eddy knew far and well that he didn’t deserve Edd at all. Why would he? Edd was incredible in so many ways and had such a promising future. He himself was a fuck up. There was no way he could live with himself if he dragged Edd into his bullshit. That wouldn’t be fair in the slightest. Oh, the breakup they would have about that, Eddy refused to entertain the notion. It would be the most painful kind of breakup he’d _ever_ have. Bar none. And the last thing he wanted was to screw up so bad that it would end up being the result.

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do this to his best friend. The only one he ever wanted more than anyone. Even if Edd liked him back. There were risks life that you just _didn’t_ take. This had to be one of them, he was sure. He _had_ to repress these feelings. He had to repress the urge to let his tears run. It was better not to take that risk.

Eddy sighed, poured them both glasses of water, and went to the living room.


	3. Departure

The rest of the evening had been quiet and uneventful, filled with watching a movie and a show on Netflix. At least they had some good laughs and made commentary over what they’d watched, not once bringing up what happened earlier. Ed had come home from his date with May, was overjoyed at Edd’s sudden visit, joined them to watch a comedy special. Since Edd and Eddy had already been sitting at opposite ends of the couch, this left Ed to sit between them. This helped make everything less awkward. As far as Eddy could tell, Ed didn’t seem to suspect a thing.

Pretty soon, they all went to bed.

The next morning came after what felt like an eternity. Eddy wasn’t even sure how he’d managed to sleep. It wasn’t just because of his mind swimming with the revelations that had come to pass the night before, though.

No, it was because of Edd sleeping in his bed. Albeit on his own side. Nonetheless, it was still close proximity and a reminder of what they _could_ end up doing in the future. If they let this happen. Eddy’s heart tightened at the thought.

Okay, there was at least a reason for this. Edd’s bedroom was currently set up as a storage room for belongings that he didn’t keep in the dorm. All in preparation for when he would eventually move in. As such, there was no bed. The couch in the living room was comfortable, but not for full-night sleeping. After Edd hurt his shoulder after attempting to sleep on it once, he refused to do so again. So until they got a futon, there was little choice but for Edd to share a bed with one of them.

Ed’s bedroom was already eliminated for obvious reasons. That left Eddy’s bed. Nothing happened, but did that make it any less awkward? Not really. 

The three of them were currently sitting together at the table, having breakfast and drinking some coffee. Ed was reading the comics, giggling every now and again, while munching on some buttered toast. Eddy was munching on some cereal while scrolling social media on his phone. Edd, who sat across from Eddy, was reading the paper and eating some oatmeal. 

So far, it was relatively quiet aside from occasional conversation. Eddy just hoped Ed never noticed the awkwardness between himself and Edd. The two of them avoided eye contact, though Eddy occasionally caught Edd’s lingering glances when he assumed he wouldn’t be noticed. But they could get past it all, right?

“Eddy, will you please pass me the syrup?” Edd suddenly said.

Eddy glanced upward and accidentally met Edd’s eyes. The two of them averted their eyes immediately. Nodding, Eddy slid over the bottle of maple syrup. “Here ya go.”

“Thank you.” Edd murmured, taking the bottle. 

Their hands brushed for a brief moment, to which Eddy quickly drew his hand back, but tried to make it look as subtle as possible. For a quick save, he brought his hand to pick up his coffee mug.

“You didn’t say funny stuff last night, Double D!” Ed remarked with a chuckle.

“Of course I didn’t, Ed. I didn’t drink _that_ much,” Edd informed him as he poured some syrup into his oatmeal. He rubbed his temple, grimacing. No doubt he was hungover, but wasn’t making a big stink about it. “Just enough to ramble and not notice autocorrect mistakes due to delayed response and impaired judgement.”

“Not enough to forget?” Ed queried.

Edd grimaced once more, looking downward at the article he was reading. “No, I was not borderline nor completely blackout drunk in the slightest.”

Admittedly, Eddy began to wish that _were_ the case. Then maybe Edd would have forgotten about his confession. But no such luck. Even without words, it was clear he _did_ remember.

“Poor Double D,” Ed patted his head gently, not noticing Edd’s pained look. “Does it hurt?”

Edd bit his lip, still avoiding eye contact. “Erm, yes. A little bit. But I’ll be all right, don’t you worry.”

“What did you guys do?” Ed asked with a smile.

Eddy noticed Edd go pale, at the corner of his eye and figured to step in. “Not much, really. Like I said last night, Double D was drunk and wanted to hang out, so he came here. We had some grub and watched Netflix, s’about it.”

A smile crossed Edd’s face before he nodded. “Yes, that does indeed surmise our evening.”

“All ‘cause he was soooo lonely.” Eddy teased, snickering.

“Might I add that you were on your own as well?” Edd teased right back.

“I didn’t have to be! I could’ve called Amanda and done somethin’ with her!” Eddy stuck his tongue out petulantly. “It was Friday night, bet she would’ve been out at the clubs shaking her hot piece of ass on that dance floor!”

Edd rolled his eyes and deliberately went back to his newspaper. “Charming. I’m sure she would love to hear you talk about her like that.”

“She doesn’t care! I told her she was hot and she took the compliment! Matter of fact, I’m gonna try texting her and see if she’s up for some fun later.”

“Wonderful. I’m sure you’ll have a lovely, lovely time. She’ll be good company, I’m sure.”

Ed looked between the two of them, his countenance marred with worry. Eddy looked down at his phone once more, his stomach churning and mind swimming. Boy, Edd’s disparaging comments about his exes or potential dates now known to be coming from jealousy felt so _weird_. Now he was having those stupid thoughts again! Great. Just great.

After they finished breakfast and loaded up the dishwasher, Edd announced he was departing. Due, of course, to needing to study and do some homework. A part of Eddy was glad so he could think about last night’s events in peace, but he also lamented knowing they all wouldn’t hang out until _maybe_ tomorrow. If they were lucky.

“Thank you once again for last night and for a lovely breakfast.” Edd murmured as he slipped on his shoes and took his messenger bag. “I vastly appreciate it.”

“No sweat, Sockhead.” Eddy waved it off.

“Can we see you tomorrow?” Ed asked hopefully.

Edd giggled, pretending to think, “Mm… I don’t know… perhaps I can pencil it into my schedule.”

“Pleeeaaase?” Ed pleaded, getting onto his knees and giving puppy dog eyes.

This made Edd laugh and roll his eyes good naturedly, his lips curling into a smile. “Oh, of course we can! Text me later on and we’ll plan for it. I’ll see you tomorrow, gentlemen.”

“Okay, Double D! See you tomorrow!” Ed grinned as he stood up from the floor.

“Till tomorrow,” Eddy said, keeping it cool as he possibly could. “Stay outta trouble.”

Edd gave him a look and scoffed. “Take your own advice.”

“Shut up!” Eddy retorted.

“Make me.” Edd challenged, chuckling.

Eddy then made the mistake of meeting Edd’s eyes at that moment. Those captivating, soulful green eyes of his. Great, of all the things he could have done in this moment, it had to be this. Even worse was his mind going into Fantasy Mode (Trademark). Discreetly pinching himself to regain a sense of reality, Eddy cleared his throat. How long had he been lost in thought? Not long, thankfully, since Edd didn’t seem to notice.

“See ya tomorrow, Sockhead.” Eddy finally said.

Edd nodded, averting his eyes for a moment. “Of course. Take care, gentlemen.”

“Bye, Double D!” Ed came forward and opened his arms for a hug.

Hesitating, clearly unsure, Edd leaned over and sniffed the general air around Ed. He glanced at Eddy with uncertainty, biting his lip.

“Relax, he showered this morning before you got up.” Eddy assured him.

“Yup!” Ed smiled brightly. “I still take your advice.”

“Oh, good then.” Edd looked relieved and then hugged Ed. “Thank you both again for your hospitality.”

“But Double D, you’ll be living here soon, silly!” Ed laughed, hugging Edd tightly and then patting his hat.

“Well, true, but-”

“But nothin’, you pay your share of rent here so therefore you kinda do live here!” Eddy cut him off. “So relax and quit acting like you’re a guest!”

Laughing a little, Edd nodded and pulled back. “Well, all right.” 

He turned to Eddy, hesitated, and then came forward to hug him. What the? Why was he even-? Eddy nearly froze the moment Edd’s arms came around him. But before he could move, Edd pulled back quickly. His cheeks were pink and his eyes noticeably were directed to the floor.

“Have a lovely day, you two.” Was all he said before dashing out the door and closing it.

Ed stared after their departed friend, furrowing his eyebrow in confusion. He looked down at Eddy, indicating to the door with his thumb. “Is Double D okay, Eddy?”

“Course he is. Why wouldn’t he be?” Eddy asked, puzzled.

“He looked like a mouse was running over his feet all morning.” Ed remarked, biting his lip.

Eddy scoffed, rolling his eyes. “He’s _always_ like that, what else is new?”

“I mean a lot more than always.” Ed said.

“Again, he kinda does that all the time!”

Ed frowned. “ _E_ _ddy_.”

“What?! What are you on about?!” Eddy groaned, turning and heading to the kitchen.

“Did something happen last night?” Ed asked pointedly, following after him.

Eddy shook his head wildly as he made it to the fridge. “No, nothin’ happened!”

Ed was silent from where he was standing for a few moments. When Eddy refilled his coffee mug, he turned to see Ed looking at him worriedly.

“Why are you lying to me, Eddy?”

“I ain’t lying! Nothing happened!”

Shaking his head, Ed placed himself in the kitchen doorway, blocking the way out with his height and limbs. He stared at Eddy pointedly, expression a mix of worried and disapproved.

Then it morphed into puppy dog eyes.

Eddy felt his chest clench. “Ed… Ed, quit lookin’ at me like that.”

Ed’s lips formed a pout.

“Stop it! Stop, it’s not gonna do anything!” Eddy uttered, taking a step back.

A whimper sounded from Ed.

“Damn it, Lumpy!” Eddy turned away, grabbing at his hair with his free hand. “What do you want me to say?!”

“I just want to know why you and Double D are acting like you went out and hid a dead body.” Ed said softly.

“We didn’t-fucking hell!” Eddy groaned, sipping his coffee. “Nothing happened, Ed! Double D was drunk and he kinda got a little too honest about shit!”

“Ohhh…” Ed said, whistling. “Did he say he wanted to run away?”

“No, why would he do that? He’s already out of his parents’ place! Can’t say I blame him ,that place is a fucking museum.” Eddy shook his head.

“He wants to quit school?”

“If he did say that, I would’ve checked him into a mental hospital.”

Ed thought for a few moments. “He wants a subscription to Fangoria magazine?”

“Why the hell would we apparently act outta sorts if he wanted something like _that?_ ” Eddy snorted. “It’d be _weird_ coming from him but I’ve seen weirder.”

“Too bad, it’s fun to read!” Ed grinned, but then grew serious once more. “Did Double D reveal his deepest darkest secret about how much he wants to be a superhero?”

“Oh for cryin’ out loud!” Eddy sighed, taking another sip of coffee. He set it down and gripped the counter, as if afraid he’d fall over otherwise. “Don’t worry about it Ed, it’s no big deal. It’s fine!”

“But you guys are walking like there is a rhino in the room!” Ed protested with a pout. “A rhino with the magic abilities of a wizard and wearing a superhero cape!”

Eddy exhaled and shook his head. “Ed, don’t worry about it. Double D was just saying crazy stuff ‘cause he was drunk. We all do that! I mean come on, he actually professed his undying love for me and tried to kiss me! If that’s not the alcohol talking, I don’t know what is!”

The thought of it being that was both a relief and yet the nagging sense of doubt gnawed at him. But he pushed that thought back. There was no use dwelling on that possibility, anyway.

“But Eddy, doesn’t being drunk mean we say things without thinking?” Ed asked as he scratched his head.

“Well uh… it can’t be true!” Eddy exclaimed as he turned to face away from his friend, trembling. He hoped Ed didn’t notice. “Nope, no way! Why the hell would Double D want _me?_ I know I’m a goddamn stud and all, but he’s gotta have standards! I ain’t even a girl! C’mon Ed, you agree, right? Double D can have anyone he wants! There’s no way he wants me! You can’t even picture that, right?”

Ed just smiled, “Sure I can, silly!”

“C’mon Ed, I’m serious!” Eddy groaned, clutching at his hair.

“Me too!” Ed replied cheerfully.

“Jeez, I know your imagination can get outta whack, but that’s _way_ out there!” Eddy sighed, shaking his head. “Double D’s probably just, I dunno, lonely or something and maybe he’s mistaking all the good feelings you got for a friend for love! It’s gotta be that. He’s not in love with me, no way!”

“But what if he is?” Ed tilted his head.

“He’s not.”

“But what if he is?”

Eddy rolled his eyes and sighed as he turned around to face Ed. “Okay, fine! Let’s pretend that it’s true, that Double D’s not confused and goin’ through some stuff. Let’s pretend he’s in love with me. He said it himself! No way we’d work! The whole gay thing would be tough as shit to deal with, I’d just drag him down into my fuckups, and he deserves way better! If we broke up, it’d be fucking awful, Ed. And we don’t wanna drag you into it, either. Hell no, we don’t wanna make you a third wheel!”

“But why would I be a third wheel?” Ed asked, looking genuinely confused. “I am Ed!”

“Ed, you and I both know that when two people date from a trio, the third guy’s always the third wheel!” Eddy pointed out. “You don’t wanna be the third wheel!”

“Of course not, silly! I don’t!”

“You see?! That’s my point!”

Ed just laughed, “But I wouldn’t be the third wheel, Eddy!”

“But you just said you don’t wanna be the third wheel!” Eddy pointed at him, his finger shaking.

“I don’t!” Ed nodded in confirmation.

“So there you go!” Eddy groaned as he lowered his hand and reached for his coffee mug.

“But I won’t be the third wheel.” Ed put in, grinning.

“Yes you would! If me and Double D are dating, you’re gonna be the third wheel!” 

“No I wouldn’t, silly!”

“YES. You. Would!”

“Nope!” Ed shook his head again, still grinning.

“UGH! Ed, you’re not making sense! More than usual!” Eddy drank more coffee and set the mug back down. “Look, ya get the point. We don’t wanna fuck things up is what I’m sayin’.”

Now Ed looked serious, but his tone was warm. “I won’t be a third wheel if you guys date, Eddy. We are the Eds and we would still do the same things we always do. Why would that change?”

Just as Eddy was about to retort, Ed’s words gave him pause. What if that was true? Would their dynamic change if two of them were dating? Wouldn’t they still do things together as friends? He guessed, yeah, that was pretty much a given. But what would it mean for the two of them dating?

Ed continued, “Remember when you were scared about things going topsy-turvy and all kinds of curvy when I started being buddies with May?”

Eddy felt his blood run cold. Oh, _yeah._ He remembered those days all that time ago. Ed started to hang out with May Kanker a bit _too_ much and the two of them grew close. Of course it garnered him and Edd worrying that their group dynamic would break. Of course Edd tried to be rational and accepting. But it had been tough to come to terms with. Yet, as they realized, just because one of them had a girlfriend didn’t mean it was the end of the Eds.

Of course Ed had to bring that up.

“Yeah, yeah, I remember.” Eddy grumbled with a sigh.

“So we can still all be buddies! You guys would just be doing smoochy smoochy!” Ed quipped as he hugged himself and made smooching noises.

“Real funny, Lumpy.” Eddy tried hard not to smile, but he cracked. “But it ain’t gonna happen. It’d still fuck things up between me and Double D and I don’t wanna do that. Like I said, he deserves way fucking better! I can’t hold him back or fuck things up, not after all the shit we’ve gone through!”

“That’s too bad, Eddy.” Ed said sadly, looking at him with sympathy.

“Yeah, well… what are you gonna do?” Eddy shrugged, sighing heavily as he headed out the kitchen doorway. Ed didn’t stop him, but when Eddy turned around to face him, his friend still looked concerned. “All I’m gonna do is fuck things up, like I always do. Besides, he thinks I don’t feel the same way! It’s probably better if he thinks I ain’t into him.”

“Um, Eddy?” Ed spoke up.

“I mean I didn’t exactly _say_ anything like it, he just kinda figured he knew that about me! What was I supposed to do? Not go along with it?” Eddy went on, assuming Ed’s question on the matter. He shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I was in a pickle, Ed! All that stuff happened so fast and he was all drunk! I had to play it cool and act like, hey, it’s no big deal! If he were sober, I bet you he wouldn’t have believed me! No wonder, right? Guess I got lucky that he was drunk! He would’ve known I was lyin’!"

“Eddy?” Ed said a little more insistently.

“Relax, if I’m lucky, he didn’t remember! Okay, he must’ve remembered, since he wasn’t blackout drunk. But let’s put it this way. Last night never hap-”

“ _Eddy_!”

“What, Ed?! What is it?!” Eddy snapped at having been interrupted. “Didn’t your mom tell ya it ain’t polite to interrupt?!”

Ed didn’t answer. He just pointed to somewhere behind him. Frowning, Eddy turned around and then his stomach dropped.

Standing in the open doorway of the apartment was Edd, holding his apartment key in one hand and grasping the straps of his discarded messenger bag from the floor in the other. He stood there, stunned and wide-eyed, completely frozen in place. Had this been what Ed was trying to get his attention for? How did he not hear the door open? How did he not realize that Edd forgot his bag?

Blood running cold, stomach coiling, and entire body just _freezing_ , Eddy was at a complete and utter loss of what to say. They just stared at each other in the deafening silence that surrounded them.

Edd then hoisted the strap onto his shoulder. Never once taking his eyes off Eddy, he backed up a step, then another, and was back out in the hallway. Then he slowly closed the door behind him. It clicked a moment later. Then footsteps hastily retreating down the hall.

“Uh-oh…” Ed murmured with worry.

“.... _Shit_!” Was all Eddy could muster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now yes.... I know a hookup didn't QUITE happen. But, you know me by now. ;) They're meant to be. Mutual pining! This is just meant to plant seeds, so to speak. But you know eventually, they'll get together in my books.


End file.
